The 4^th Sunday after Easter

SERMON

In Nomine Jesu!

Text: Ephesians 5:23, 25-27

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body…. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

In Christ Jesus, who calls upon all entrusted with leadership responsibility to lead in a godly manner, dear fellow redeemed:

Gentlemen—look around you. Are your wives following your leadership? Look again—are they doing so willingly? Look once more—are they doing so joyously? They should be, if their hearts belong to Jesus, and you and I are properly fulfilling our leadership responsibilities.

My dear friends, we are living in a world, which for the most part completely misunderstands the divinely designed responsibilities of leadership. This is particularly true when it comes to the roles and responsibilities of husbands and fathers within marriage and the family. I was visiting with one of our members recently about this very matter. He commented that God’s design for leadership within the church and family is often so difficult for people to understand and accept today, especially for women. We have been led to believe in our secular society that the roles and responsibilities of men and women should always be the same, and that to suggest that there are ever any differences is old-fashioned, chauvinistic, or worse! This, however, is not true. While men and women do share many roles and have many common responsibilities, God’s design for His church, for marriage, and for the family often involve differing roles and responsibilities. These differing roles and responsibilities are intended to complement each other and when exercised together will provide the very best of results for our human relationships.

It is my intention to consider the vital issue of godly leadership this morning. In my estimation it is the key to success, and if properly understood and exercised will bring tremendous blessing to our Christian congregation, marriages, and families. While men, women, and children are all often called upon to lead in a variety of circumstances, I will today address primarily our men. GENTLEMEN—THERE IS A CRYING NEED FOR GODLY LEADERSHIP! Leadership, first of all, which follows the example of Christ! Leadership, secondly, which shares the purpose of Christ!

I.

In our text the apostle Paul addresses the role and responsibility of husbands within marriage. He calls upon husbands to be leaders—leaders who follow the example of Christ. He writes, “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” Notice that God has divinely appointed husbands to be the “head” of their wives. But what does not mean? Headship implies both authority and responsibility. It does not necessarily imply superiority. Paul clearly reveals that fact in 1 Corinthians 11:3, when he writes, “I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” God the Father and God the Son are equal. Neither is superior to the other, yet in connection with God’s plan of salvation, Jesus submitted to the authority of His heavenly Father in order to deliver our souls from eternal destruction and bestow upon us the gift of eternal life. He accepted all of the responsibilities necessary to redeem us. Consequently, the fact that God has given authority to husbands within marriage, in no way suggests that they are superior to their wives, but it does mean they have been given special responsibilities within their marriages.

What does this mean in a practical way? It means that God has given husbands a position of leadership within marriage. They do not have to earn it—it is theirs. They certainly do not have to prove it. In fact, if they try to do that—“I’m the head of this house and I will prove it by telling you what to do”—they have abused it. It is theirs, simply because this is God’s design. It has been very carefully designed, however, to follow the example of Christ. Can you imagine Jesus lording it over us—“I’m the Christ, and you better do what I say, or I’ll use my power to force you to comply with My wishes?” Of course not! Jesus is our head. He possesses all power, yet He never forces us to comply with His commands. He never comes and twists our arms behind our backs or slaps us across the face. We follow Him willingly, because He has fulfilled and continues to fulfill all of His responsibilities towards us, thus bringing us rich and lasting blessings! Gentlemen—recognize the leadership role God has given you and accept the responsibilities, which come with it. Then strive to exercise your leadership in Christ-like fashion!

What are those responsibilities? Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Gentlemen—our primary responsibility as leaders within our marriages and within our families is to “love.” The love of which Paul speaks, however, is not the racy, sexual type of love—“I’m a love machine”—seen illustrated on television and in the movies. No, our responsibility is to love both with understanding and purpose. We are to strive to understand our wives—to know their needs and to meet their deepest desires. It is only in this way that we will truly be able to love them properly. It is not good enough to throw up our hands, like so many in the world, and say, “Who can understand women?” We do not have to understand “women,” but we are called upon to understand one woman—our wife. Peter writes, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (your wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife” (1 Peter 3:7).

Gentlemen, it is our responsibility to understand our wives and to honor them, for then and only then will we be in a position actively to love them. Without such understanding and honor, it will prove nearly impossible for us to provide them with godly leadership. Gaining such an understanding requires time and attention. We honor our wives by spending time with them, talking to them and even more importantly listening to them. What are our wives’ most important aspirations? What are their greatest concerns? What is the one thing they need most to be fulfilled and to find contentment? Do we know what it is? Are we seeking to meet that need?

Does all this sound like a lot of work? Well, it is! But that is part of our leadership responsibility! We are to lead with love, and in order to do that we must honor them and come to understand them. Our God calls upon to love our wives, “just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Christ understood our greatest need—that of forgiveness, for it is only by the forgiveness of our sins that we can escape eternal judgment in hell. Knowing that, He sacrificed Himself for us on Calvary’s cross—bearing the weight of our sins, so that we might be cleansed by His blood and embraced in His loving arms. Godly leadership involves willing sacrifice to meet the needs of those being led. Christ did not abandon His responsibilities to us, when the going got tough. He rather persevered and in so doing delivered our souls from certain death. GENTLEMEN—THERE IS A CRYING NEED FOR GODLY LEADERSHIP…leadership which follows the example of Christ!

II.

Leadership which shares the purpose of Christ! If you do not know where you are going, how can you ever lead someone properly? Listen to Paul’s words revealing the purpose of Christ’s leadership: “Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” Christ is the Head of the church and leads the church with the purpose of bringing blessing to us. Christ understands that our ultimate destination is not anywhere in this world, but rather is the kingdom of God in heaven. Consequently, with that in mind He leads us with His word and gives us baptism to wash away our sins, so that we are prepared to follow Him with zeal, faithfulness, and success. That brings us ongoing blessing here in this world and will bring the ultimate of blessings, when He says to us on the last day, “Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world” (Matthew 25:34).

Gentlemen, the purpose of our leadership is to mirror that of Christ. We are to lead with one eye on the future—not just and not even primarily the future we have in this world, but our eye should be focused on eternity. If I lead my wife to fame and fortune in this world, but she ultimately loses her immortal soul, I will have failed in my leadership responsibilities. Consequently, we must realize that God did not give us our wives here in this world simply to fulfill our will and temporal selfish desires. Our wives are truly gifts from God, but they are not our property to use and control. They are rather our partners—treasures to be prized and protected. Did you know that when Paul told Timothy that a “bishop”—the term used in Scripture for a pastor—was to be “one who rules his own house well” (1 Timothy 3:4), the word “rule” means literally to “stand before” to protect and provide. Consequently, as wise leaders our marital and family decisions are to take into account the needs, desires, and above all the welfare—both temporal and eternal—of our wives and children.

If I may return briefly to the words of Peter quoted earlier in this sermon, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (your wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and being heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). Notice, gentlemen, that we are to view our wives as “being heirs together of the grace of life.” Recently, my wife and I were discussing with our son issues relating to dating. I encouraged him to view any young lady he would date as a “sister in Christ,” for then his conduct would always remain honorable. Peter is reminding us all that our wives are above all “heirs…of the grace of life”—individuals who like ourselves are destined to lives with Christ in God’s presence throughout eternity. Therefore, as we lead our wives, may our purpose ever be to strengthen them in their faith and relationship with Christ. We are to be living examples of the love of Christ—they should see Christ in and through us as we lead them.

Is this a great responsibility? Yes, it is! Will we always be successful? No, we will not. Is there help for us? Of course, for God gives us divine direction through His word. He will strengthen us when we grow weak. He will uplift us when we falter, and above all He will forgive us when we fail. GENTLEMEN—THERE IS A CRYING NEED FOR GODLY LEADERSHIP! It is our sacred trust, the fulfillment of which provides the key element necessary for successful marital and family living. Let us not shrink from our responsibilities, but embrace them and with God’s help fulfill them. Yes, let us follow the example of Christ, for we certainly share the purpose of Christ. Amen.

—Pastor Paul D. Nolting